How to Build a First Fight Box

Despite how much you love one another, newlywed couples will inevitably have that dreaded “first fight”. That’s why some newlyweds are starting their marriages with a First Fight Box.


If you’re attending a wedding in the future, don’t be surprised if you see the bride and groom break out their tools in the middle of the ceremony to compose their First Fight Box (also known as a Wine Box). This is a tradition meant to give the couple something to look forward to on their first anniversary, like freezing and eating the top tier of their wedding cake.


A few weeks before the wedding, the couple takes some time to each write a love letter to one another and place it in a sealed envelope, with the name of your partner on the outside. Do not read what the other has written.

Fight Boxes come in all shapes and sizes. Some couples choose to make a DIY version from an actual wine box, while others choose to buy a pre-made box inscribed with their names and the date of their wedding. The first rule of Fight Boxes is that there are no rules! Couples are free to create the box that feels right to them.

During the wedding ceremony, the officiant will explain the meaning behind the tradition and what the couples have done to prepare it.

Then, the bride and groom each take turns hammering nails into the box so it can’t be accidentally opened. Then, the couple promises each other to open the box on their fifth anniversary or after their first fight, whichever comes first.

In the very likely event that it’s a fight, the couple opens up the box, pours glasses of the wine, and retreats to separate areas of the house to read the letters their partner wrote just before the wedding.

Even if you are not seeing eye-to-eye at that very moment, it will remind you of all the reasons you chose this person as your partner and all the things that helped shape the life you’ve created together. Never take your blessings of being together for granted.

The story behind the First Fight Box is absolutely beautiful. Couples around the world are using this tradition as a reminder about the power and strength of their love and commitment.

How do you and your partner deal with a fight? Do you like this unique idea? Let us know in the comments below.

5 thoughts on “How to Build a First Fight Box”

  1. Kelly (kellz) Combs

    I think this is an amazing idea! In school during the first couple years our school made these time lock boxes similar to this (without the wine of course) and we opened them on our last day before going on to the next step…. middle school. We were asked to put a favorite item in the box that we really like it being small though and a few other items. Our teacher had an info sheet with questions such as best friend, favorite color ect. So we filled those out as well and sealed it shut and buried them in a big tote. Like the first fight box it was emotional, somewhat funny, and made us all get together, talk, and share with each other what our past selves thought, adored, and wrote all those years ago. I’ll definitely make a first fight box with my fiance but do it now in hopes we will be able to one day get married and spend 5 years an more together looking forward to our first fight.

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